Friday, August 12, 2011


He's my first born, my first joy and the apple of my eyes. He was so cute, a happy child, no tantrums at all. He always smiles when he woke up.We named him Niel Christian, "NIEL" from my husband's name and "Christian" from the latin  word"christianus" meaning " follower of Christ". When i was pregnant I pray to God to have a son who is God-fearing,  just, and with a character of a good christian. I don't have any struggles in raising him up though  my husband was always far from home. I am very thankful to have a child like him.  He was only 2 years old when he start singing. He's favorite songs were WESTLIFE"s songs. Can't believe that i'm a fool again.. lol.. was his favorite line. He also loved to dance. He loved coloring, drawing and reading character books.
How times flies.Nine more days to go and he's turning 14. Before, I dreamed of him being an engineer but he said it's a tough course with many mathematics subjects. What about being a dentist son? No ma, a dentist only earn a little.. Goodness, how can you find a job when at the moment you can't even think of what college course to take. Whew! 
We always fought of many little things, but when we became christian I saw some changes in his character. It's really important to communicate with our children specially during their teenage years. Both parties should compromise and agree with some rules specially at home. We should be consistent with our rules inside and outside our home. Being a mother whose husband is always away it's really, really tough. But I can see in my son a sign of obedience little by little. I hope as he grow in his christian life, he will  totally transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit.  I'm also praying that before he graduated in high school he will decide and desire in his heart to find a course that he will suite his personality and finish his degree with flying colors. As a mother, we need to pray harder for our children. Pray for their lives, health, for their future careers and for their future partners in life. We always love our children no matter what... I love you christian.Happy  14th Birthday!!!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

My Little Girl

My baby. She was born on July 19, 2002 4:30pm @ Caloocan Puericulture Center and Maternity Clinic. Before she was born, I know it's a girl. All the people that I met told me also that it will be a girl. They told me it's the way I look. That very day, I can't  believed that I'm going to deliver my baby.  I felt a little pain, it was not as intense as with my first baby. When I brought to the hospital, I was so irritated with the tricycle driver because of the emergency sound of the tricycle. All the people in the street were looking . When I arrived at the hospital I insist not to sit on the wheelchair. I walked going upstairs when the pain is not  intense. I was interviewed by a duty nurse, checked, and to my surprised she told me to go to the delivery room. Why?. I have no choice but to lie down on the delivery bed. The doctor told me to push, Oh why again? is this really it? . Then the doctor told me to stop! The baby was out! Thanks God!
Then the nurse brought the baby beside me. It's a healthy baby girl.My husband was not at the hospital to buy some baby stuffs.I felt so sleepy. I was transferred to the recovery room, there I slept for 8  hours. My mother was so nervous  because my aunt died of pre-eclampsia 2 months ago. She died with her baby inside.
While I was at the recovery room, ( I stayed for three days)We named her "KRISNIEL GRACE". "KRIS" a female version of my eldest. "NIEL from my husband's name and "Grace" because she is a God's  grace for us. Finally after a day I was able to see my baby. Because of  much excitement I  bumped into the glass window where I can only see her. After I paid the hospital bill that was the time I was able to hold my baby. She was very cute. She always cried at night, maybe because I was in deep sorrow while she was in my womb. But I always pray for her to grow up as what I want her to be.
When she was a toddler she was very witty. She always dance and sing. When I was cooking, she climbed into the metal bar and looked what am I going to cook and sing her favorite "Tomorrow". I know she will grow up an intelligent woman. When she was in grade school she don't have friends. She told me that I'm her best friend. She make cards for me and my husband in any occasion. . I dreamed of her as a very sweet, loving lady when she grow up. God fearing and a lady with a heart to everyone. For now I just want her to enjoy her childhood. To finish her study and become an accountant as I dreamed of myself. She always want to be a chef but I told her:" Later baby when you're already a CPA(Certified Public Accountant)" LOL. Whatever she will wish  to achieve I will support her all the way. That's our major role as parents, to support and  guide our children. I love you baby, You are an angel to me.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Every chapter of our lives we meet different people, of different characters, of different backgrounds and of different ages. Eventually these people become our friends. Sometimes they come and go into our lives.  True friends remains through thick and thin, good and bad they never leave. False friends? They are like autumn leaves...when the strong wind carried them, they scattered everywhere.. As we go along our journeys some of our friends learned to forget.
Do you know who your friends are? How can we say that our friends are real? They say that a FRIEND IN NEED is a FRIEND INDEED. I will tell you who my friends are! They seldom send me a message, because they are busy. They almost forget to say Hi! They are so quiet. They never bother to call me whenever I'm busy. We don't see each other often because they are very far, sometimes very near but they have so many things to do. But I know in their hearts we love and respect each other. They don't have time to call but I know we have a special place in each others heart.  Now can you tell me who your friends are?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Our Story

We never intended to become lovers, 
Or we are not even good friends 
All we have is a company 
That keeps  me happy  each day.

The moment  I first look at you, 
I can't find something to admire you 
But my heart tells me you are the one for me
 To be with, to love and build a home.

Life for us is not always easy, 
We cry, we laugh and now you're miles away
 All I did is hold  on to memory
 Of all the happy times we've spent with our family

I want to say thank you for your patience,
And for giving me two loving children
For loving me unconditionally
I even love you more each day.

Fifteen years has passed and still counting
To God Almighty I am praying.
That He may bless us with many more years
For us to show our love for each other.

Happy 15th Anniversary to You my Dear Husband
Love you with all my heart..

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


When I logged in to myYearbook account, it says I have a new question from one of my friends. When I opened it, it says:

New's photo
Q: why is it so hard to go to treatment for cancer but yet you know its best for you i know i love my kid she keeps me going every day asked by Matthew S.
Then I answered:

A: First, I think you are scared of the reality but you have to face it. Going to a doctor for treatment is the best thing to do.. Don't lose hope, don't give up. Pray harder and ask God for miracle. I'm praying for you..

Many times in our lives we are afraid of many things. When we were kids we are afraid of the dark, of our parents whenever we disobey them, with failing grades, entrance exams and many more. But when we talk about death it's a different story. I cant imagine how a person fear before he/she was being killed. Just recently I read in yahoo news about  a father with cancer who died 2 years ago who wrote  a message for his children. A sad story of a father dying of skin cancer whose children are very young. He took pictures with his children, filmed messages, and a series of rules as guide for his children while they were growing up because he only have how many months remaining to live. Being diagnosed to have a cancer  is a very scary moment in one's life. When you are being told by your doctor that you only have a few months to live. 
When I was 29, I become hypertensive because of stress and I also did the same. I wrote letters for my children who was then 1 and 6 years old and for my husband. I want the best for my kids but I'm afraid I might die anytime. You love your kids that you cannot afford to see them in the wrong track. So I wrote so many " I want you to be like this, and to be like that". 
Looking back I was  I thinking why I was so afraid to die before? Is that really your family, specially your children's future you are afraid of or it is your own soul? Admit it or not we are all wondering where our souls will be going after we die. When I accept Christ in my heart and allow HIM to control my life became a different story. Who is not really afraid to die but it's  not the same fear I felt in the past. Now I have my assurance of my salvation and nobody can take it from me. I have this peace in my heart whenever I think about death. Being in Christ is really a benefit and an inspiration to me. I have seen people who suffered from severe sicknesses yet they are peaceful. Is this only a matter of acceptance? Or it only depends on on'es own attitude on how they see things in their own eyes?
I want to comfort people who are in this kind of situations but how will I start? I'm afraid I may utter the wrong words! I want to tell them the CHRIST in my life and in many Christian's life WHO assured us of our salvation. For it says in Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Thanks to my God for the assurance of Heaven through Jesus Christ. So why live in fears of death? Find God in your life, abide in HIM. Thank you Lord!

Friday, July 15, 2011

A Poem for Nanay

My heart is aching I can't help my tears to fall,
When I think of you I will always recall:
The time when I was young and you're always by my side,
To love, to hold, to understand and to guide.

All the stories you have told will always remain,
Though remembering all those things will always bring the pain;
In my heart I'm always grateful that you were always there,
To complete my childhood with memories so clear.

You're a great person who touched so many lives,
With passion and affection that cannot be denied;
Now that you're gone it's hard for us to think,
That we lost a special person who'll never be replaced.

We can't find the exact words to tell you how much we LOVE you so..
But deep inside our hearts we know that you feel it too;
I hope someday we'll see each other again,
But right now I'm still praying that i can bear all the pain..

We missed you nanay..
I'm so sad na dimo ako naantay..

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


We celebrate Father's Day every 3rd sunday of June. It is the time when we give honor to all the fathers in the whole world. Good or bad experiences about your dad will be remembered on this very special day. Whatever you call them, Daddy, Dada, Dad, Tatay, Itay, Papa etc. Try to think without your father, what life would be?
I don't have many good memories about my father when I was growing up. I remember whenever my father got drunk I was always so nervous as if my spirit separated from my human body. I started to hate and blamed my father for all my disappointments. Why I did not finished my study, about my anxieties and all our hardships in life. There was a time that I told my mother  if killing my father in not a sin, I already killed him. I want to see to it that when I get married, I will never, never find a man like my father. In my own eyes, he is not an ideal father and I hated him for that. I was 23 years old when I choose a man  whom I want to share my life with. Very opposite of my father. Not a drunkard or a smoker and I thank God for him. 
When I gave birth to my eldest I started to appreciate my father and I realized that he already changed. He seldom drink liquor and he was there by myside until the baby came out. He even told my mother that if he can only bear the pain instead of me. I realized how  lucky I am because I still have a father. I tried to forget one by one the bad memories that I kept for years. I even ask God's wisdom to guide me to learn to forgive him. I started to recall the good memories instead of bad. I realized that my father is not perfect, but he is very generous, loving and he did not interfere with our personal affairs. He is just there to support us all the way.
We cannot really choose who our father is.. Maybe God gave us "not so good" fathers for us to be strong and tough. If you have the same experience as I had with my father try to realize that  one way or another, we do not exist without our fathers. Start looking at the bright side of life and stop living with your sad past. Tell them how much you appreciate and love them. To all fathers out there specially to my papa and my loving husband, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

Monday, June 13, 2011


A friend is anyone, maybe your parent,  your sibling, relatives and sometimes they do not have any blood realtion to you but they occupy a very special place in your heart. I have a childhood friend who is very dear to me. Our friendship was built for years and strengthened by love and respect.  When we we're young we used to read comics, listen to music, chat all day etc. I remember we took a bath together and we are both half I want to extend my gratitude to her through this blog.Thank you friend for the great memories we shared together.
They say that Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. But I can proudly say that this is not true. I can keep and treasure friendship. Distance is not an issue, even communication. Though we did not see each other for years the friendship never change. We both have families but the love and respect is still there.
In this very fast changing world very few can find a true friend. We meet different people everyday but it's  hard to establish true friendship. If you're one of them, let me remind you what a true friend is..
They say that a true friend is a person who will never betray you.  The one who will lift you up when you're down. Through good times and bad she/he is always there for you , in laughter and in tears. For me a true friend is a person who will not only praise you but she will also tells you all your mistakes even to the point that you will get hurt. That only means that she she//he cares for you. Now show your friends how grateful you are and they are a blessing to you. Treasure your true friends because as we travel in this world, what we can find best is a true and honest friend.